There was a time when I'd get anxiety about going out to dinner.
I had goals that I was working toward, and I was determined to reach them. I was hitting the gym for a couple hours a day, sometimes twice. I was meticulously tracking what I was eating, down to the gram. I was doing all of the things that I was supposed to do.
That is until someone would ask me to grab lunch or dinner. Then the anxiety would creep in. I'd have an entire conversation with myself.
"I'm a homebody, and I NEVER do anything." "I should totally go.. I NEED to go." "But.. what would I eat?" "I can't reach my goals if I go get whatever the restaurant is serving." "This would set me so far behind.. I've been doing so good."
And that's when I'd break the news to my friend, "No, sorry.. I can't make it!"
Just like that, life passed me by.
I wanted so deeply to go out and enjoy myself. I desired so deeply to create friendships and have connection. I loathed to be accepted and create a life of adventure.
But I'd say no every. single. time. it knocked on my door.
Because I didn't feel like I was worthy AS IS. I didn't feel like I was enough AS IS. I didn't feel like I was capable AS IS.
Looking back, I was dealing with deeper issues than simply chasing a goal, or chasing a physique. I was living in a false reality, in a story that I made up.
I know I'm not alone. I know you struggle too. We are more than the lies we tell ourselves.
You are worthy NOW.
You are enough NOW.
You are capable NOW.
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